Posted in Musings

Depression 1.3 – Searching for the Soul Doctor

God’s truths often arrive in strange packages.

Like the song by Foreigner I have been blasting on my truck’s stereo this past week.

It’s called Soul Doctor.

I need to see the soul doctor
Before the fever begins
You know I’m searching for the soul doctor
When love is wearing thin
Doctor soul is in.”

Depression is not simply something in the mind. It is also what the Spanish mystic St. John of the Cross described as “the dark night of the soul.”

So on hard days, I’m searching for a soul doctor.

Rather than crawling into a mental hole or pretending everything is okay, I am learning to pray and accept that I am never alone.

Jesus promised to never leave or forsake me. And often, after these dark nights of the soul, joy does come in the morning.

Which means I can hang a sign outside my heart that says, “Dr. Soul is in….”

Posted in Leaves on the Poet Tree

ER

child
why do
you continue
to choose
to be
confined
by these
white
cold
walls?
don’t
you
know
that
the
real
prison
is in
your
mind?
and
that
your
healing
lies
through
the
narrow
scraping
door
of the
painful
past?
yet
you
must
choose
to take
the offered
hand
rise
from your
sterile
bed
and
step out
into
the
light
of a
different
day

Posted in Leaves on the Poet Tree

Prayer Like Nightbird Flying

prayer
is a
mysterious
thing
a subtle
kind of
whispering
like the
nightbird
flying
bright word
crying
on
whirring
wing
stirring
to sing
what
heaven can
bring
called
forth
by mere
speaking
living
waters
that spring
from the
river of
healing

Posted in Prayers

Bottles of Tears

perhaps it seems that
they are wasted
this sad rain
that has fallen
from the gray clouds
of your eyes

but know this
child of heaven
each precious drop
has been captured
held close to the heart
of the One who has
cried with you

and on that day
when every tear
is wiped away
and joy is a
forever thing
these vessels
will be emptied
into that glorious
golden stream
that is for the
healing of the
nations

Posted in Songs

Monday Monday Song 71 – Epiphany

Another restless night with dreams of discontent

Could it be my brokenness is heaven sent?

And all of my suffering doesn’t even come close to the suffering of the one who loves me most

Or the pain of a friend who will never mend waiting in a wheelchair for the end

Can I be the love that animates flesh and bone bright scars on my skin through which the light can be shown

And what I have lost can only be found in a love that is bigger than the hate that is all around

Who holds a child near in the shadows of fear waiting for another missle to appear

Another frozen day trying to fan the flame

Do I truly believe in the power of a name?

That can warm the coldest heart in the winter of the soul and breathe into a shattered world and make it whole

I don’t know but it goes to show that this is a love that will never let us go

Posted in Prayers

Joy Comes In The Mourning …

one day
when you least
expect it
you will awaken
to find
the weight
that had lain
across your
shoulders
like a
hammer

is suddenly
gone
lifted by
an unseen
hand
and tossed
away
like a
suit of
armor
you no
longer
have
to
wear

and the
fear
that
hovered
around
your
head
like a
spectre
has been
swatted
away
by the
knowledge
that the
One who
did not
forsake
you
has now
drawn
you
even
closer
into
Love’s
embrace

Posted in The Sunday Driver: Life in the Slow Lane

Renovation

yesterday
I walked through the warehouse
pieces of a border in my hand
seeking matches in the scattering of wood along the walls
this was not the first time I had been here to try to find a few more feet to finish a project
but though I looked through the offerings again and again
hoping that behind the next piece would be the one that I needed
I did not find it

I did not leave empty-handed
in one hand I had my tape measure and
in the other the two pieces of border I brought with me
yet I knew that I would not return and that my search was hopeless
I would need to try to find another place to match the border
or I would need to simply start over
I have been searching for awhile and
the project has languished
unfinished like so many parts of my life

when does one continue to seek the parts necessary for the completion of a project or simply choose to tear the whole thing out and start over again?

I am of course speaking of something deeper than simply finishing the border around the ceiling of a living room
sometimes I wonder if the project that is me simply needs to be completely redone
then I realize with gratefulness
that is not the way of the Divine

I am the sum of all of who I have been
I am incomplete
unfinished with a mishmash of parts and pieces
that don’t always match
yet God chooses to use every part of me that I make available
broken ugly beautiful
all together

this reconstruction of my soul is a wondrous and strange thing and I am impatient at times with the work that is going on in me
I am not wise enough to see the final product or how I am going to be used tomorrow
I simply want to know
I want to be done
but this is about trust and giving my life over every day
to the Master Carpenter
who gently
but not without some pain
works on my renovation

Posted in Peace News

Music for Healing

If You Play Music, You Can Help People Heal By Being a ‘Musician On Call’:
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/if-you-play-music-you-can-help-people-heal-by-being-a-musician-on-call/

Posted in PEACE GROOVES, The Sunday Driver: Life in the Slow Lane

Release

oh the stuff i collect
like a storm washed beach
refuse from the everyday

until i am so weighed down
i do not realize that i
am or that i don’t need to be

reflection like the rising
sun above the waters
brings these pieces to light and i can begin to
let them go

the gentle waves will clear my broken shores
if i but open my heart
to listen

the palms carress the sky
the shadows begin their rise
in the distance
a ship vanishes into the
light of the morning