The Hodge Podge Journal – Page 7 – January 1995 – “The Artist”


“Train Ride Conversation”

As an artist, I struggle with articulating how I feel. There are times when my skin becomes a screen and the wind seems to flow right through me. I feel the wind in my bones. How do I express that? How do I make someone who has never experienced such a connection understand that?

In a conversation with Eric, a friend and fellow artist, we arrived at several revelations as to who we are and what we do.

I am creative so I will be. Sometimes it is easy to be lazy, to go through life half-heartedly, and not commit myself fully to the life of an artist.

Much is stacked up against such a life *fear of failure: 1) not a good way to support myself or a family, 2) difficult to get “big” enough without conforming, 3) misunderstanding by the status quo, 4) lack of tangible goals, and 5) vagueness of the destination.

However, the alternative is to die the long slow death of never fulfilling one’s purpose in life.

I commit myself fully to who I am and who I must be. I will begin to pour out myself in what I do. There have been times in my life when my heart has been an answer to prayer and when it has touched someone deeply enough to let them cry. These are miracles, yet they are the stuff of the artist’s life.

I seek a life filled with such miracles 

January 29, 1995

This is part of the Hodge Podge Journal series, excerpts from my art words journal circa 1995.


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